Why I'm no longer calling myself a Certified Sexological Bodyworker in Portland…

I’m moving away from the title “Sexological Bodyworker” and this blog explains why and what I'm changing to instead.

Woman giving herself a compassionate hug on a massage table

History of Sexological Bodywork

The term Sexological Bodywork was coined by Joseph Kramer when he developed the modality of Sexological Bodywork as a bridge between sexual health education and ecstatic states of being in response to the AIDS epidemic in the 1980s. The modality has since developed to be a structured, consent based and trauma informed way to heal and integrate sexual trauma and shame, connect deeper with the body, and expand capacity to experience pleasure.

Why am I changing my title?

I find the term Sexological Bodyworker has been confusing for people, it carries some stigma and misunderstanding, and does not easefully describe the work that we do. The social media bots freak out, and not many people have heard of the modality. I have been playing with different titles of the work I offer over the last 5 years, from (embodied) sex (and intimacy) and breath coach, somatic sexologist, pleasure coach etc. Since joining The Institute of Relational Harmony Studies Somatic Sex Educator & Supervisor two-year training in April 2025, I have decided to adopt their term of Somatic Intimacy Coach & Bodyworker.

This writing and exploration is an evolution and a work in progress and is part inspired by The Art of Somatic Coaching by Richard Strozzi-Heckler, and I’m sharing this in the messy middle, rather than a polished version and for clarity, I’m not reinventing the wheel here either. If you are feeling generous and called to share your reflections, feedback, or thoughts, as a fellow sex-bodder, client or friend, they are such a welcome gift.  This blog is not a sales pitch, more of a brain and heart storm.

So, I’m going to break it down, what does a Somatic Intimacy Coach & Bodyworker actually mean and what do I do?

What? TLDR

So what is it that I really do?

I help you have the best sex of your life.

Somatic ~ which derives from the Greek word somatikos, meaning the living, aware, bodily person, distinct from the mind and spirit.  Soma means “of the body”, and bodily sensations. I use the term somatic to mean we are a living field and this work offers an opportunity to integrate all parts of us into our being (more on how later …).

Intimacy ~ I like to translate intimacy as: “in-to-me-see”. When we are being in or sharing intimacy with someone we consciously and consensually reveal the gifts of our being to be seen and felt be yourself and/or another(s). I see intimacy as cyclical, regenerative, flowing exchange between one or more people. Perhaps you are seeing yourself for the first time, perhaps you feel courageous enough to show me you, or let me see parts of you? This can include your physical, emotional, and energetic bodies.

Coach ~ I see a coach much in the way of a sensei (one who has gone before), not in a superior way but someone with education and experience in areas you don’t (yet) have. I see my way of coaching as me holding a map and a lantern, to illuminate that which you might not see or know yet. I have some maps of paths you have not travelled or even know exist yet and I have a lantern to shine a gentle light (or spotlight) on the parts that you can't yet see, so we can co-create a shared reality. I meet every client with the belief that you are doing your work, you have the capacity to change, and I support you to develop your capacity and skills in self-awareness, self-compassion, self-acceptance, and self-responsibility. I can be your cheerleader, your consensual shadow stalker, your big sister, and sometimes I even channel my dear ancestors (fierce loving Northern Irish & Scottish women and Danish Viking warriors). And I meet you with the awareness that you carry infinite wisdom within your being, you are the expert of your own body, and we co-create a container of courage and you learning what safety feels like in your body, so you can bravely step into listening and inhabiting your new way of being.

Bodyworker - Whilst I deeply value and appreciate conversational coaching or therapy, personally I have found over the years that it can only take me so far. We can talk about s.x, intimacy and our bodies as much as we like, but I believe to make meaningful, lasting change, we need to work on, in, with, and through the body. And so touch and bodywork can be part of our sessions, including genital touch, if it is in service to you. I follow the Institute of Relational Harmony and Association of Certified Sexological Bodyworkers Code of Ethics, which includes the use of gloves with touch and remaining clothed. The bodywork I offer is one-way touch – with the exception of Betty Martin’s Wheel of Consent practices - and if there is a 2-way touch component to our work through those specific practices, it is in service to your learning. 

Working on the body

I am trained to work on your body in as much as I am able to help you realise what is stored in your body. Unlike therapy, Somatic Intimacy Coaching is not a treatment model, so I do not diagnose or treat conditions, and I refer out when I believe there is something outside my scope of practice.

Working with the body

I work with the body in a way where we consider the emotional, social, cultural influences, power dynamics, past experiences including trauma, and conditioning and how they may be blocking and/or supporting you to access your felt sense, your emotional, and sexual energy. I teach you how to notice, trust, value, voice, accept, and sometimes adjust your physical, emotional, relational, and energetic self – so you have access to your voice, choice and therefore agency and pleasure.

Working through the body

When we work through the body, we work with your fundamental life force. When you learn to tune into your intuition, your emotional and physical sense of self, and your eros, you can connect with “a vast reservoir of wisdom, compassion, and intelligence that has been neglected”.

As we know, the body keeps the score, on a cellular level, in our DNA, in our ancestral lines, and in our collective, and will repeatedly reveal our embodied strategies for survival and belonging, for love, safety and acceptance.

Working through the body, we can tap into ~three billion-ish years worth of embodied experience and connect to our patterns of being and of expression, and that which cannot be seen, but felt, to illuminate and integrate unthought knowns into our awareness and everyday lives – this is embodied shadow work. 

How?

Through intention, breath, sound, movement, placement of attention, touch, attunement and noticing sensation, learning micro skills of touch, allowing, being with, and moving through emotions and feelings, being met with radical acceptance, and knowing change is possible, recognising limits and resilient edges of resistance, experiencing pleasure and ecstatic states, are some of the components of the mycelium networks of this work, and in my work I encourage developing the tools of self-compassion, self-acceptance, and self-responsibility to co-create a structure of support to help you root, grow, blossom, fruit, wither, decompose and unveil yourself again and again.

Why? adrienne marie brown believes that pleasure activism helps us feel psychologically whole and able to rebuild trust in ourselves and each other to work together for broad social change. Dismantling shame and embracing pleasure is so powerful to your sense of self

Some of my clients have reflected these benefits; "I feel like an entirely new person who is on an amazing journey." "I feel like my work with Emerald has helped me become the person I was always meant to be." "I feel like myself but more realized." "I would describe my journey as a plant that is getting stronger roots and more flowering flower that's opening up more."

And more specifically: "I know what I want in sex, intimacy & relationships, I have the confidence to ask for what I want,  I have less shame and self-judgment, I have increased self-awareness and self-compassion, I have a better relationship with my body, I have stronger boundaries (i.e. I now have boundaries!), I feel more sensation, more pleasure, I feel more trusting in my body, I feel more trusting of my partner, I feel more connected to my partner, I have more capacity to feel, I have a wetter pussy, I have a harder cock, I don't need to watch porn anymore, I have stronger orgasms, and I am starting to have sex I actually enjoy (after 40 years!)."

When we embody and integrate our felt sense, we develop a feeling of wholeness, the capacity to feel more, that can be more pleasure, more rage, more joy, more everything. When we can feel and express our F*ck Yes and our sacred no (without apology), and our maybe and get the information we need to make a decision that is right for us and a win-win for us and our partner, we begin to have no other choice than to be in our fullest expression of ourselves, including in our sexuality. Anything else just feels off, and as much as we learn to sit in discomfort, we begin to question - why would I choose to stay here? When we have the confidence to speak our embodied truth in sex, at our most vulnerable and naked (physically, emotionally and energetically), that offers us the confidence to be in our truth in other areas of our lives too, including challenging power structures.

Pleasure is healing.

Pleasure is wholing.

Pleasure is activism.

And pleasure is a practice.

Intersectionality in Somatic Intimacy Coaching

This work doesn’t happen in isolation, it’s always shaped by who we are, where we come from, and the systems we live inside. My own lens includes being kinky, poly, queer, (recently diagnosed) ADHD, white, AFAB woman, and a young solo parent. These identities give me both privilege and challenge, and they remind me to stay curious, humble, and accountable in the work. This work is political, when a world is trying to stop us feeling, and box us into what is and isn't "acceptable" in society, feeling pleasure can challenge these oppressive systems, particularly for marginalized communities.

In practice, I’ve supported gender-expanding folks, queer clients untangling religious shame, couples who’ve been together for five decades and feel stuck in habitual sex, people with chronic illness finding their way back to intimacy, neurodiverse clients learning new communication tools, and those who’ve never spoken the words “cock” or “pussy” out loud before. Every body and every story, arrives with their own history, and I adapt language, pacing, and approach so the work meets each person where they are at.

Intersectionality to me means recognizing how trauma, privilege, oppression, and resilience live in the body. It means naming power dynamics, holding awareness of difference, and repairing when needed (drawing on Cedar Barstow’s Right Use of Power). It looks like choosing accessibility (yes, even down to a larger massage table), gathering historical context to better understand what shaped you, and weaving trauma-informed principles into every interaction.

And it’s never finished. Intersectionality is an ongoing practice, of listening, unlearning, continuing my education, seeking supervision from a diverse range of practitioners, and creating spaces where the fullness of each client is welcomed and honored. Pleasure and intimacy are deeply personal, and they are also political. To me, this work is about both: tending to the uniqueness of your body and story, and remembering that liberation is always collective.

For me, stepping into the title of Somatic Intimacy Coach & Bodyworker is about alignment. It reflects my commitment to hold the complexity of our intersecting identities and to keep learning how to meet you in the fullness of your being and to encourage you to live in it too.

What else do you want to know? Drop me an email hello@rootedpleasure.com or comment below and I'll do my best to answer your questions.