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Creating a Safe Space: Why It's Important and How to Establish It

Updated: Apr 4

Couples Holding hand together

Working with an Embodied Sex, Intimacy & Breathwork Coach or Certified Sexological Bodyworker is vulnerable and intimate work. It is crucial for the practitioner to establish a healthy container—a clear and structured space-that supports the client's personal growth and healing and meets them where they are at. This container is created through establishing boundaries, clear communication, and ethical practices. This article explores how creating a healthy container impacts your journey.

Why I never call my sessions, workshops or retreats a “Safe Space”

Whenever I see someone describing their containers as "safe spaces", it is a red flag for me. As it plays into the lack of awareness they have for power dynamics within the practitioner-client or participant roles.

The concept of a "safe space" is subjective and varies based on individual perspectives and experiences.

Embodied Sex Coach for Couples and Women, In Portland, Oregon & Online

What feels safe for one person may not necessarily feel the same for another. Different individuals have different needs, boundaries, and comfort levels when it comes to creating a safety in their body. The work I do is slow, titrated and consensual. Particularly when working with couples, we use the most sensitive nervous system in the room as our guide for curiosity and exploration. I support you to recognise when YOU feel safe in YOUR body and where your resilient edge of resistance is!

Establishing Safety and Trust

Setting and maintaining boundaries establishes a foundation of safety and trust between you and me. Knowing and experiencing your boundaries being respected allows you to learn safety and to repair trust with yourself and others, to relax, and fully engage in the healing process. I understand the importance of embodied consent and ensure that you are an active participant in every step of the session, fostering a sense of safety and trust. This is why I don't allow latecomers into my Rooted Breathwork Circles or any online events, and why we always learn & embody aspects of the Wheel of Consent as the foundation to any coaching or bodywork sessions.

Emerald May (she/her). Sexological Bodywork

Freedom to Explore

Boundaries provide a framework that allows you to explore your desires within a contained and supportive space. By clearly defining what is and isn't permissible during a session, you learn to find the edges of your comfort and safety zone. Over time you will learn to feel empowered to express your needs and desires without fear of judgement or overstepping your or my boundaries. This freedom to explore promotes personal growth and self-discovery. Like children in a playground, when we have a clear container, we are free to get creative and even more curious!

Respect for Individual Limits

Every person has unique limits and boundaries when it comes to their comfort levels, physical touch, and emotional openness. I support you to explore your individual limits, if you don't know what they are and honor where you are on your individual journey. This respect allows you to maintain agency and autonomy over your experience and supports your self-awareness and self-responsibility.

Girl is shouting with frustration.

Emotional Processing

Exploring your sexuality can trigger a wide range of emotions, from joy and elation, including rage, grief, shame, fear and the vulnerability hangover. Having been through many mixed and conflicting emotional processes myself, I am a coach who is skilled in holding a container that provides emotional support during these moments. I am adept at creating a non-judgmental and compassionate space where you can openly express and process your emotions. By holding space for your feelings, I can help you navigate any challenges that arise, fostering self-compassion.

Integration and Embodiment

I hold a container and set boundaries that supports your integration and embodiment of the experiences and insights gained during sessions or circles. By providing a structured space, I facilitate the process of bringing your newfound self-awareness and self-acceptance into your daily life. I support you with accessible tools to support your radical self-responsibility in holding your own boundaries. This integration allows you to embody your personal growth, leading to long-lasting transferable transformation.

Creating a Safe Space: Why It's Important and How to Establish It

What if something goes wrong?

I endeavour to remain in integrity with the container we have co-created at all times and I may make a mistake, because I am human. To reduce this risk, I work with a supervisor, I am a regular attendee at Association of Certified Sexological Bodyworkers Ethics Committee Meetings and have a Grievance Policy in case a client feels I have crossed their boundaries.

I value the importance of holding a strong container and setting boundaries creating a supportive, and empowering space for your personal growth. By establishing clear boundaries, fostering trust, and providing emotional support, I enable you to explore your desires, process emotions, and integrate your experiences. With my guidance, you can embark on a transformative journey of self-discovery, healing, and empowerment.

Emerald May,Sex Coach for Couples and Women, In Portland, Oregon & Online

Book your 45 minute Disconnected to Deeply Loving Strategy Call with me to feel heard, receive some practical next steps,

and see if we are a good fit to work together!


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